Confessions of a Deranged Romantic

Dear Jamjam,

Did you read the weather report? They say there’s an 80 percent chance it will snow today. This is awesome news; it never snows in Houston so you know how important this is to me…us. We can finally be together.

I couldn’t go to bed last night. I’ve been up since 1am planning, prepping. I cleaned out the room because I know how much you hate dirt, and fixed the fireplace so it can be warm and cozy when you come over. I changed the sheets to an Ivorian white and completed the look with fur pillows. White…that’s your best color isn’t it? It reflects purity… my purity.  I’m going to bake chicken later on but I’m trying to figure out what to serve with it, hot chocolate or ice-cream? Heck, I’ll just get them both, banana split for me and vanilla for you; that’s the flavor I see in your fridge anyway. Banana split gives you a rash remember? It was in your doctor’s report.

I’ve only just realized I don’t have any ice-cream left at home so I’m gonna make a quick run to the store.  It’s snowing already and my next door neighbor tries to stop me as soon as I step out the door. She says there is going to be a snowstorm, I could die out there. I don’t answer her. She wouldn’t understand, no one does. Isn’t our love supposed to withstand the test of time? “Well if you must go, at least get a man to accompany you” she says. “I can’t” I reply, “it’s a surprise”.

I can barely see with this heavy gust of wind. The snow has gotten to my eyes, I’ve slipped on the ice thrice and my left arm bleeds but none of that matters. It would all be worth it when I see the smile on your face tonight. The store is a cemetery, the cashier is just about closing when I arrive but I plead with her to wait a few mins. “I want to surprise my boyfriend,” I say to her and she gives a knowing smile. They have chicken on sale here, $2.99 per pound. That’s a really good deal considering how much you love chicken. Maybe I should get you some. I’ll ask. I pick up my phone and dial but it goes straight to voicemail. Jamjam why don’t you pick up your calls? You know how much that hurts me, I hate being ignored.

Your patio lights are on when I get back. I want to come say hi but I decide not to, it’d ruin the surprise. Besides, you just got off work, you need your rest so you can be strong for me later today.

Its 2pm already, I slept off on my desk hoping that you’d wake me up with a kiss but you didn’t. The vanilla ice-cream already melted, I forgot to put it in the freezer only because at the back of my head, I knew you’d come get it, you’d ask me how I knew you loved vanilla and give me a long tight hug. You don’t. How much longer do I have to wait? I know you’re busy and tired but this was supposed to be our special day. Can you this once just make an exception for me? I refuse to believe you’d let me down, I’d wait 5 more hours.

Jamjam, the day has almost come to an end, you’re still not here. It’s getting late and our show is on… well, your show. I’ve never liked Hannibal, that thing scares the shit out of me. I’ll go to the kitchen and make chicken to get my mind off the fear. Their red lifeless limbs remind me of Janine, how stupid of her to think she could keep us apart. I’m scared. I can hear voices, they say I should confront you, that I don’t deserve to be taken for granted.

I look out my window and see that your blinds are pulled up. I’m gonna come over since you’re too tired to walk through the snow. I can hear laughter. I wonder who’s in there with you. Who else is capable of making you laugh except me? I can make out a willowy silhouette and the strong scent of roses blind me as I get closer to the door. No! It can be! This manner of betrayal? It hurts? I cannot sit and watch. I charge into the room like a mad dog, tearing wildly. “Where’s Jamjam” I scream at her. “Who’s Jamjam? Get the hell out my house”, she screams back. She doesn’t seem remorseful so I kick the lit candle off her table to teach her a lesson and run out of the house. She rushes out after me a few minutes later, leaving a trail of smoke in her wake. “Somebody call 911” she screams.

I must have fallen asleep since the blaring of sirens is what jolts me back to reality. You’d be amazed the number of people that’d come out despite the snow for a taste of gossip. I don’t mind their penetrating eyes. It doesn’t bother me. Two policemen walk up to me. They say the neighbors have been complaining, I’ve become a general nuisance. They have a search warrant so they ask me to let them in. I don’t totally understand what’s happening. I’m trying to figure out what time it is. Is the day over yet? Did you not show up… again? One of the policemen comes out the front door. I finally get a good look at him; short and stubby, nothing compared to you, my handsome warlord. He says they found some chicken in the oven and a head…in the freezer. They show it to me. “Do you know this man?” he asks.  I smile. “Ma’am do you know this man?” he repeats and I smile even widely. “That’s my Jamjam”. I should have known better than to mistrust you. That’s why you didn’t show up. You were here with me all along.


I had fun shooting for this story but only one featured image goes in the header so I’ll just be generous and leave a pictures below. 😀




16 Comments Add yours

  1. ebuka says:

    Firstly the intro picture is killing me😂😂😂, that mole 😂.
    I kept reading the last paragraph over again like (it actually got me confused) ….” wait wait, head? Whose head?, oh no OMG you killed him 😱….” so👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿great one there, I so much wanted to believe its a non fiction story. The intro pic still killing me😂


    1. Lol 😂 forget about the mole. And oh, he was already dead from the onset. Lol it’s definitely fiction. I’m taking a class in American gothic do I guess the texts we’ve been reading influenced me


  2. Christie says:

    Great work. The whole world is waiting.Keep on manifesting

    Liked by 1 person

  3. otenaiketaiwo says:

    JamJam!! Excellent piece( i was a lil bit confused tho)…I also think its better you attach a padlock to your freezer next time. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, you mean her freezer…cos this is fiction.


  4. chideralim says:

    Lilian I can’t find the video. Nice write up too.


    1. Click on the word “here” it will take you to the video


      1. chideralim says:

        It says I’m not authorised to view. I guess I’d have to add you first.


    2. Thank you tho 😀. I’m reading yours now, you write well too

      Liked by 1 person

      1. chideralim says:

        Compared to you I’m a learner😉 but thanks😘


  5. bibi says:

    And jamjam was in d freezer all along. Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. khenniey says:

    Omg! Nailed it… I was expecting jamjam too, btw nice choice picking d banana split 😋

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wonderful story! Good writing that kept me reading til the end! Loved it. Clicked the slideshow and it did not work? FYI anyway enjoyed this very much!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you so much that means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem! I am following you now!


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