Take a look at the girl in the mirror. What do her eyes say to you?

-Sad, Lonely, In need of some sort of connection.

Do something about it.

I’ve never really been one to “do something about it”. The idea behind the phrase itself seems foreign; that one could single handedly double cross fate and architect their own destiny. I have heard stories of people who had “done something about it”.  Kafayat slid into Josh’s dm’s in October and now they are married with two kids. I wonder how that played out. She must have strolled around the guy’s page, gathered all the information she could as to his relationship status, gotten some friends to psyche her up then struck while the iron was hot. I’m more fascinated as to what Josh’s train of thought was after he received her first message. He must be a very welcoming, open minded person to have let things escalate. Imagine myself in such a position. I would have been polite, responded in monosyllables, but, it would take a miracle for a marriage to form  from that. I do more of organic relationships. A friend. Or a friend of a friend.

Times are changing. The moment you set foot in America, your market value drastically reduces  by 50%. Blame it on the exchange rate but over here, the shiny cars never stop (it is against the law anyway), the annoying whistles fade  and the “essss fyn girl”  are reduced to hungry stares, no words involved. You’d go from praying these thirsty niggas leave you alone to wondering when they got a sudden supply of fresh water.

Do something about it

For where? Even the dying naira is not enough to weaken an Igbo girl’s resolve- forever fronting. Besides, doing something about it never works out anyway, it messes up the ecosystem.  Was it not the same thing that happened in the other dude’s case. Olams, forever my wing woman,  pointed him out first. In my head, I was not interested, but one month later, I suddenly saw the light.  He  checked out everything on the list. The one I had created to keep myself away from  the fuck boys and Yoruba demons of this world… no one ever checks out everything on the list. “I’ll try to talk to him”, she said, and when word came back, he had a girlfriend. Of course he did! The beautiful ones are already taken. You think say na only you sabi better thing.

Do something about it.

Okay. This one time, I decide to hit up my big bro E.

“Hey. Do you know this guy?” “Yes through someone what’s up?” “There’s a cute guy in Nashville that’s what’s up”. “I’ll try and see if he can come out for the independence day party next week”.

Ask for something more personal, aren’t you his preferred customer.

“You know I’m awkward at parties. By the time these girls twerk for him that’s the end”.

I could feel the awkwardness gnawing  me even as I spoke.

“Lol. We’ll have a pregame… he’s a cool guy; he’s not like that”.

In my head I’m wondering.  Hmmn. Eeeeeehnnehn. So this is what you’ve been reduced to. You’re now asking to be introduced to a cute guy, there is God oooo. I try to console myself. “Times are changing. Right?  Right?” I ask Aisha, looking to get validation. “Ahn Ahn, oh Lillie” She replies. “This is literally everything you wanted “Smart, fine as F, Nigerian, Igbo, Doctor, Artistic… like damn, your mother would approve”. Well, I never said doctor but, are you kidding? My dead dad will approve. And my dad approves no dude. “Ha they are making your husband right across the street”, she adds.  We laugh and I wait.  I wait for the party.

When that day comes, Olams says I look hot AF and she doesn’t compliment except she means it. Big Bro E says I look nice too. They talk for a bit about my well being and I smile. These two are like my parents and they don’t even know it. We all dance and wait.

11pm.

He can’t make it to the pregame but, he’ll come to the party.

12am-1am-2am-3am.

He can’t make it to the party, he’s stuck in a different state.

Like play like play bobo no show. We decide to leave. “Did you have fun?” Olams asks. “My market did not sell”, I reply.  “How? 3 different guys came to talk to you.” “I wasn’t interested”.  She sighs. “It’s really not that serious, but you know, if you really want to meet this person, you can just hit him up”. In my head, I’m thinking, “That’s true, I am searching for creatives anyway. I can use that angle”. Strategic positioning that technically, isn’t strategic positioning.  Smart! Right? Sad?

Take a look at the girl in the mirror. What do her eyes say to you?

Sad , lonely, DESPERATELY seeking a connection.

Do something about it.

But I’ve tried. In my case, these things never work anyway.

Take another look at the girl in the mirror. What do people think of her?

Strong, beautiful,  a whirlwind of creative energy.

Do something about it…Be that girl.