Two weeks ago, I sent a notification to my Whats app “blog spam list” (yeah I have a spam list). I had decided to create a blog schedule where I’d be putting up posts twice a week (Wednesdays and Saturdays) so, I wanted to know if they’d rather be spammed on Saturdays only or on the both days weekly when I’d put up each post… like anyone ever loves to be spammed. It became quite ironic when, after this declaration, I failed to put up any blog post; not the two I had promised, not the one I was previously accustomed to. Even more, I became overcome with guilt each time I checked my stats and saw the number of people that had visited the blog, knowing there was nothing new for them to read.
I’d like to blame it all on finals, this semester’s were the most tasking of my entire college life. The truth however, is that I’ve been in a weird space for a while, one that is devoid of any sort of inspiration. It doesn’t matter how often I pick up my computer to write, it just doesn’t flow. Ultimately, it became more comforting to put the blog aside, and fantasize about this new life where my bomb apartment overlooking the sea had white washed walls and lace curtains. In there, I could have shrimp and pinacolada for breakfast, I could also write for all of eternity. Well that’s the thing about fantasies, they are a temporary mask, and when they fall off, they make reality sting harder than ever. Reality being that, my white washed apartment overlooking the sea did not exist and putting the blog aside for lack of inspiration was a no go area. You don’t just “put your baby aside” which is literally what this blog is to me…my birthday gift to myself last year and a strong reminder of what I can achieve when I dedicate myself to something.
“This too shall pass” That extremely cliché phrase has never held any much meaning to me up until now. So rather than hide behind the mask of baseless fantasies, I’m reminding myself, and putting it on here because y’all can hold me accountable, that like every other thing, “This too shall pass” and when it does, when the storm of inspiration once again drenches me, it’s aftermath will be stupendously exhilarating stories that will change lives. That, after all is what I set out to do with the blog in the first place; tell stories that change lives, and make them count.
Photo taken by -Jamal Henry